corner of a cornered peanut

Friends

2010-07-23T09:59:00.001-07:00

When things are bad, they call you.
When things are good, they disappear.
Are you really my friend?

Life is a Learning Curve....

2010-07-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

That never ends...an old long-bearded wise man one said...
At this point of my life, I have to be able to let go things that disappointed me.
It is always hard for me to forget and forgive but things happen in life. Either you accept it or you are stuck in it and never get to experience the wonderful life that you actually have.
Sounds very cliche, doesn't it? But it is true so I will try my best.

Enjoy the little things in life

2010-02-17T08:54:00.000-08:00

This is a true story. It is a story that made you speechless, laugh, and shaking your head at the same time BUT there's nothing you can do because it is done.
So enough prologue.
This happened some time last year, a friend of mine had a $18 office depot gift card that would expire at the end of October 2009.
He went to the store on the 2nd week of Oct and spent all $18 on chocolate! He got himself a small bag of m& m, and a couple reese's.
I was visiting him and saw all these chocolate on the coffee table and I asked him what's up with the sweets.
He said he was getting ready for Halloween. Yeah right! 5 small bags of chocolate for Halloween??? That would last for the first group of kids that showed up.
Then I saw a receipt and read it and that's how I found out he spent the whole 18 bucks on chocolate because he did not know what to get at the store.
O Lord have mercy :>

So there it is. I did not say anything. I just smiled and shook my head.

Moved!

2010-02-14T20:00:00.000-08:00

I am officially the resident of town C! I moved yesterday. I have to thank the person(s) who is watching over me because the weather was great. It did not snow like they predicted. It was sunny and not too windy.
I was debating whether I should move this Saturday because of the forecast.
It was supposed to snow at 9 am till noon which was my exact moving schedule. I was looking out the window that morning and it did not snow so I called my friends that the move was still on.
i have to thank my friends too. They showed up and helped me move. the move started at 10 am and finished at 1 pm.
I don't have a lot of things but my new place is on the 2nd floor and the complex does not have an elevator.
So we had to go up and down the steps all the time.
It was quite a workout :)

Today is Chinese New Year and Valentine's day. I didn't do much. Unpacked and cleaned up the new place a little bit which I was not supposed to be doing because it is the New Year! Afterwards, I called my folks and friends to wish them a good year.
I am sooooooooo glad that I decided to take the international plan into my cellphone.
You had no idea how long I have been struggling to find a good phone service to call home.
I have tried a .50/minute calling card and it works just like the .02/minute one.
Go figure.
Ok, no more complaining.
I am just so glad I am able to talk to my family with no static and echo.

Moving Part 2

2010-01-22T13:48:00.001-08:00

Still excited about moving but getting nervous if I can pack fast enough. 3 more weeks!!

Moo....ving...

2010-01-20T09:02:00.000-08:00

Not to another state or country just another suburb area, but I am happy with my decision.
I have been kinda looking for a better place because this place is messed up. I took the place because at that time, I was renting a room. My room was at the first floor and it was always cold all year long. All my housemates lived upstairs and it was always warm up there.
We always silently argued about the setting of the temperature. I would set it at 72 and they would turn it down to 69. I had a talk with them but nothing changed. So I decided to find a place.
And I found it. It was not perfect because it is on the 1st floor and the carpet was not steamed. The latter was because I wanted to move in ASAP because my friend was going to visit me and I could not let her stay in the icebox room.

So I took the place.
7-8 months passed by and my friend said that the air in this apartment is stale. I was thinking, really?
Because I never heard such thing. A stale air.
He was right.
We checked the air filter and the air filter had 5 cm of dust.
I emailed my landlord and he said he never changed the air filter.
He promised to change it and he did.
I also requested him to clean the air duct.
And he did buy an air duct cleaning service.
But it did not help.
I think I have been breathing in dust that I am allergic to dust now.
I don't know.
What I do know is I want to move the hell out from this place. ASAP.

So looking around thru the web again and found this place.
It is not perfect because it is smaller but at least the carpet, appliances and the building itself is new.
I am going to move on Feb 13.
V-day and Chinese New Year is on Feb 14.
So I guess I am going to be unpacking on Feb 14 :>

Hopefully weather will be cooperating.

Little Tiny World

2010-01-15T09:02:00.000-08:00

So I received an email from my sister. She is about 2 months pregnant and went to see a doctor yesterday to take a peek of the little dude or dudete :>
She said that it is still very tiny, about 4 cm. So you kinda have to use your own imagination, but she could see the tiny tiny hands and feet. My heart just melt when I read the email.
I feel sooo happy for both of them that things are doing well. I know that it is not my place to say this but I feel that they both deserve this happiness.
In the past, both of them had some sadness in their love life but they moved on and found each other.
Life is funny and I think things do happen a reason.

Happy 2010 Everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-01-11T17:57:00.001-08:00

yeah so, it is a little late for the wish , but so what? :P
I have finally crossed out one of my to-do list, snowboarding.
I have tried skiing. Found out that I Hated it! yes, with capital H :)
It was totally different with snowboarding.
I fell on my knees and behind so many times but I was still motivated to keep on trying. That is when I realized I like snowboarding better than skiing (no more making stupid pizza :))
I also had a good friend with me, MaiH. She is also a beginner in boarding but she is definitely better than me. She taught me how to get up in different ways and showed me how to do several things.

After several failed attempts, I was finally able to glide with 2 feet on the board for 3 freakin seconds!!! It felt like it was the best time of my life ever! That motivated me to keep on trying.
It was a good day until my friend got hurt. She decided to take off her wrist guard because it was bulky and bothering her.
She fell and twisted her wrist.
Later on, we found out that she fractured 2 bones.
Luckily, she has a very nice roomie.
He took the initiative to take her home without being asked.
And he is also a good cook too. So, probably, he is taking care of her as we speak :)

I have a cold now. I have been sneezing all day. I probably got it from lack of sleep, late lunch, and slept late after snowboarding. But I am in good spirits!!!
I will go back to the mountain top and glide again!!!

Ally McBeal

2009-09-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Here I am watching Ally McBeal and, suddenly, that feeling came back. The feeling that I am scared of losing my mom. :(

2009-07-24T10:29:00.001-07:00

I wonder what a normal happy life feels like....

Home Sweet Home

2009-06-17T05:29:00.000-07:00

I am home but not quite home. That's my conclusion from being home for 6 days now.
The way my family does things are different.
Sometimes, it makes me feel like I am an outsider but I am learning and I understand that this is the price of being away too far and too long.

Life

2009-06-09T11:39:00.001-07:00

Life is indeed funny. You never know who you will talk to and meet again.
I called company ABC to cancel the company's membership and I talked to this sales rep. and she said that we can get out from the contract early.
I said that's great! Because we don't use the service.
It turned out she gave us a false information and the worst part is she did not have the authorization to do such things, according to her super.

So June came and our contract ended last month.
I called to ensure that they won't charge us anymore.
I talked to this rep. and she seemed not capable of doing her work. She couldn't find our account after I gave her all the information.
But suddenly, she said oh there it is.
I guess she read the notes of our account and she said "oh i remember you, i talked to you before about canceling your account"
First think came across my mind, o my goodness!she is going to screw us up again.
I know it is mean but her action in the past has caused us some problems.
Luckily, it was a smooth closing. No papers. Nothing.
I cannot help but worry as soon as I hung up the phone.
I worry what if she did not close the account properly. What if.. What if...

But life is funny...
From all sales rep., I get to talk to her again.
And this is a nationwide company. not a one person company.

Another :-) moment

2009-06-09T10:35:00.001-07:00

I think I just had a good but strange afternoon.
We decided to get Thai food for lunch. So I made the call to place the order.
The funniest thing happened, the lady kept saying "and then" :)
Really, literally, she said it after I mentioned each order! I ordered 2 things but she kept on saying and then, even after I said that's it.
That was sooo dude- where's- my- car moment :)

So I went to the restaurant to pick up the lunch and when I was about to take off, I saw this gentleman ordered a very mouth watering dish. I could not help myself. I had to ask him.
So I did.
And he said "try it"
I was like "huh? no, i can't do that"
Next thing I know, he grabbed another fork from a table, handed it to me and said " I insist"
So I tried one.
O my goodnesssss, it was so delicious!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a crispy calamari with sweet sour sauce.
The coating on the calamari was very light so it was light and crispy and the sweet sour sauce has the right amount of sweetness and tangyness to it.

My o my.
What an afternoon :)

:-)

2009-06-08T12:21:00.000-07:00

I am going home the day after tomorrow. Excited, yes! Tired of shopping, yes! :)
so I needed to make one last stop for my last-minute shopping.
I went to a vitamin store to get fertility pills for a family member. After I paid for it, the cashier handed over the bag and said " have a good day and good luck!"
I was like, say what?????
well I was screaming in my head, of course.
I wanted to say that it is not for me but I decided to let it go. So I walked out from the store with a smile on :)

News

2009-05-26T13:58:00.001-07:00

I am quitting dragon boating, or at least for now.
I have to quit doing it because my back starts hurting especially on my tail.
No, I am a human. I am not a monkey. Thank you very much :P
Yeah, it sucks.
But luckily, I have access to other sports so I will concentrate on them.
Another door opens after one is closed.:)

Bus o bus

2009-05-26T13:41:00.000-07:00

I want to participate in the green action so I took the bus to work this morning. I check the schedule, and the bus supposed to arrive at 9.23 am. Notice the word i used "supposed"
I understand if the bus runs a little late or early, like 5-10 minutes. But given the weather and situation, it was raining and windy, 10 minutes felt like forever.
But I have given my word to myself that I am going to take the bus to work today!
So I waited.
Here is the scary fact, those buses don't stop at every stop! If they don't see anyone waiting on the station, they don't stop!!!
Luckily, it was the bus that went to the opposite direction.

I got to my station at 9.15 which is 8 minutes early.
So I waited and waited. Looked at the clock and it was 9.30.
I was having second thought about this bus thing because it was already 9.30 and I was not at my desk!
I was going to walk but walking will take longer and it is already too late to start walking.
It will take me 45 minutes to walk and with these high heels shoes, forget it. It will probably take a good hour.

Suddenly, a strong wind came and blew my umbrella!!! aiaiaiai!
My umbrella was inside out :>
So I just turned it around, let the wind flipped it back. Smart eh? hahahha
And another brilliant idea came into my mind. I have a cellphone so I can play games while waiting for my ride.
Playing games helped alot. The next I knew, the bus came at 9.45.
It picked me up and it moved forward right away.

Being inside an empty bus was a very nice feeling. There was only several people in the bus.
Plus it was warm :>
The ride was very short. It was about 6 minutes long.
I pulled the string and on my way to work.
And I got work at 10 and I saw my super already sitting nicely at his desk.
oh dear....
what a day...

Care

2009-05-25T18:29:00.000-07:00

If we stop caring, will it make our lifes easier?

Long Weekend

2009-05-20T12:36:00.001-07:00

Counting down to Memorial Day weekend! woohoo

News Flash

2009-05-20T10:18:00.000-07:00

There is such thing as bad doughnuts.

Life

2009-05-20T08:53:00.001-07:00

This is what I think "Life is short and fast"
Where did I get this idea from? From my dream last night. I have 2 fishies in a tank and I don't have a cat. But, last night, I dreamt that a cat caught and ate my cute fishies :<
There was nothing I could do. I was standing still, very still, could not move an inch because I was in shock and it was too late to save them.
When I got up in the morning, I was so happy to see that they are still alive.
But life is short and fast. How are you going to live yours?

What I Did Last Weekend

2009-05-19T08:59:00.001-07:00

We lost but I think we did pretty good considering we are a new team with several fresh paddlers. We were ranked 8th out of 38th!!! Go Titans!!! :)

Paddles Up!!!!

2009-05-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Sooo I am joining the dragon boat race for the 2nd time! Woohoo!! The race will be this weekend and I can feel excitement since last week, actually, the whole team feel excited!
We have several new members and each one has their own personalities and characters. Like there is this one guy that never talked to anyone. He has a military haircut. He is in shape. He knows how to paddle correctly but he never talked to anyone.
I tried to talk to him, to make him feel more welcome to the team but it turned out he is not a talker.
He gave you straight answers and period. that's it. He doesnt ask you back or add anything to the conversation. so we call him man of mystery :)

And, of course, we have the party pretty boys. You remember F4 right? So we have 2 members of F4 in our team. They always dress up nicely and the hair. o my, it looks like being combed every minute. Ha, i know i sound mean. but i like to observe people :>

So we have a good mixture of people. Young, old, friendly, funny, and Mysterious hahaha

The weather forecast predicts 70% chance of thunderstorm but we have not heard anything from the race committee about canceling the race.

oh speaking of race cancellation, it turns out I am going home for 3 weeks! so if my sister is getting married at the end of this year, I have to take unpaid personal day off which is fine but getting the approval is the hard part. I have to wait for the correct moment, of course :>
Yeah, this June is going to be busy for us. Good busy :>
First week of June is going to be my mom's bday, the next week will be my sis' engagement gathering, and the following week she will get baptized.
I am so happy that she decided to do it. Religion is your own belief so if you decide to be a Catholic, I dont think your parents have any rights to say no.
So I am glad I will be home and able to attend these moments :>
I will make sure take lots of pictures.
and another good thing is I dont need to find a dress!
I bought a dress loooong time ago. It was on sale. It was more like a spring dress. I tried it on just for fun and it turned out it fit me. yay!
But I have to be sure it still fits me tho hahaha

ok y'all have a good weekend. I will let you know how we do on the race.
Go my team!!!!!!!
:>

Habit

2009-03-18T12:07:00.000-07:00

So I have started a good and healthy living habit *I think ;)*
I eat one piece of dark chocolate everyday!!
But having the chocolate is not the best part.
The best part is when you unwrap it, there is a wise statement printed on the wrapper. Almost like a fortune cookie but better and makes more sense :>
Like this one which I just unwrapped says "Start a good habit today"
I think I did soooooo Mission Accomplished!!! :)
I wonder what I will get tomorrow.

Itch

2009-03-02T11:31:00.001-08:00

I have an itch to go somewhere but dont know where cuz all is far and i dont have much vacation time.
I should just camp behind my place. :)

W.H.A.T

2009-02-20T10:46:00.001-08:00

Not knowing what you want is the worst feeling ever, IMHO. Especially when you are hungry and you don't know what you want for lunch. and yep, that is my current status.
Anddddd after having 3 days of good food didn't help either. cuz my cooking sux and there is no good restaurant around here.
oh, i can hear the cacing in my tummy crying for food :<

Economy 101

2009-02-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

Soooo here is a thought, why we dont live in a rented storage unit?
Pros:
It is heated.
Cheaper than renting a place.
It is a gated community so it is safe.
If you need extra storage, just rent your neighbor :)

Cons:
No windows. Solution: just open the door and you will get plenty of air and sunlight.

4 vs 1.

What are you waiting for? :)

Update

2008-12-18T10:22:00.000-08:00

Let's see what has happened to me in the past 2 months.....
October
I dressed-up for the first after I moved down here :>
Made my own pitiful costume hahaha
I was a painter. Drew my own mustache and made my own hat. My friends said that my mustache looked like caterpillars. ughh all those hard work, but i made my own costume :)

November
I was psyched and looking forward to this trip to UTAH!!! Finally, I got to visit Utah. We hit 4 parks -Arches, Canyonland, Zion and Bryce. Yeah, we could not make Capitol Reef. Next trip, perhaps?
My favorite park was Arches. I think Arches is amazing and sad at the same time because I saw the Wall Arch which was collapsed back in August. I was thinking that the National Park Organization should cover the arches with wall glass or something to avoid more erosion :)
But, my friend said that you should let nature do its thing. I still disagree with him on that.

Thanksgiving
I had a different kind of Thanksgiving dinner this time. He made fried fish and rice and beans.
He prepared and cooked everything. He cut the carrots very nicely and presented it in a nice pattern with the other food.
I honestly did not like the fish that much because the flavor and the taste were a bit too strong for me. But I was really touched by his effort considering he was feeling sad because his car got stolen. yeah, his car got stolen and it was because of me.
He was at his place and I asked to come over to my palce and his car disappeared the next day :<
But the police found his car the following week and the condition was pretty good. Engine was still in its place, just a broken window and busted ignition.

December
Merry Xmas everyone!!!!!!!!!! :)
Invited some friends over to have a hotpot. It was a nice gathering but it was too short. They came over around 6 pm and next thing we knew it was 9.30!! :<
But it was nice.
We ate a lot of food and I was introduced to a new food, it is called Quail Eggs. It was so yummmyyyy and also Taro in hotpot.
Both were yummy :)

Frenemies

2008-11-25T10:13:00.000-08:00

I took a trip with friends couple weeks ago. It was a good trip. I went with people that were more like hang out buddies than friends. Being just buddies, this trip really challenged my patience. I know that I am not perfect because I know that I can be a pain in-you- know-where.
But, overall, the trip was a success.
So, there was one time that we got into talking while waiting for the sunset. We talked about frenemies.
After talking to this person, I got a little scared because he has so many masks to wear. He actually said that when he is in a new place, he has to wear his friendly mask and I always thought that he is a sincere and nice person and he has frenemies too!
Makes me wonder if he is a nice person and makes me curious his true personality.

Moving!!!

2008-09-12T13:27:00.000-07:00

I am moving..i am moving..i am moving..lalalalalalalaaaa
hehehehe
yeah, i feel like celebrating...
most people dont like moving. i dont either but i am looking forward to this move.
i have been sharing a place with 3 ppl. we always keep each other to ourselves. we dont really hang out or share anything with anyone.
things were fine and dandy until the nice and the clean ones moved out. my friend said it is like a cold. it sticks around.
and yes, it is true.
so i am tired of being a housekeeper and fighting over the temperature inside the house.
i decided to look for a place and finally found a place at the very last minute.
i am very particular when it comes to where i live.
i like sunlight especially in the morning. Altho, in contrary, i like my bedroom to be dark :)

so to make story short, saturday was the last day to tell my current landlord if i want to stay or move and i have not found a place on friday.
so i was sad.
upset.
depressed.
started thinking about finding a job with a salary with 7 zeros or more so i can live wherever i like.

Saturday morning i saw an ad about an open house. so i went but i was very skeptical. it turned out to be a good place and a very nice owner.
so i signed right away :>
and it felt so gooood when i told my landlord that i am moving out.
woohoooo!!!!!!!!!!

Ordinary Ppl

2008-08-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, you can call me a judgemental, or narrow-minded person. I always thought that the upper class ppl dont watch the same shows, dont eat the same food, or dont do the same activities as me a.k.a ordinary ppl.
I think you can pretty much take a guess from here that I was wrong. I know that they are not that different but, for some odd reasons, I get a shock everytime I hear they watch "Scrubs", or they like the chinese food from my usual chinese place. I don't know why :)

But, one thing that I noticed is they have certain looks, different ways of speaking, and different kinds of conversations.

Is it just me? Or do you feel that too?

Today's World in the News

2008-08-29T06:42:00.000-07:00

Opened my eyes.
Got up.
Took out a bowl of milk and cocoa puffs cereal box.
Sat down.
Read some news on yahoo.
This is what is happening in the world.

India:
Flood

US:
Obama's Speech.

Mexico:
Found 12 decapitated bodies. Heads still in search.

Thailand:
Anti-government demo.

UK:
Lady Di - Prince Charles 27-yr-old wedding cake was bought for 1,200 pound sterling (= US $2,174.76)

China:
They found the Chinese has become addicted to unhealthy online games.

Hong Kong:
The Mystery iPhone girl is solved.

Arctic:
Ice is melting and it has reached its lowest since 1979.

Cambodia:
Condom lubricant is used to cure acne.

My place:
Time to get more coffee.

Thank You

2008-08-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

Have you ever done something so impulsive that after the event has passed you have chills and think back the bad possibilities that might have happened to you if you were not so lucky.

Yea, I experienced one of those moments on Saturday.

So here goes. Saturday morning, I had bread and juice for breakfast. checked my emails, then i decided to go jogging. so i changed and went for a run around the neighborhood. 3 minutes later, i felt a cramp in my tummy but I ignored it because i thought it was just my breakfast. Then 2 minutes later, it got worse. so i decided to turn around and started walking home.
I tried to ignore the pain by listening to my music. It worked for several minutes. But the pain became so unbearable that I started seeing stars and I had to sit down on the side of the road.

Luckily, I have experienced this once before so I know when I start seeing stars that means I am about to pass out :)
So I sat down on someone's driveway.
I was going to ask for some candy or sugar but I didnt see anyone around.
Again I was not in a major roadside so there were not many cars passed by either. So I decided to lay down on the ground for couple minutes and that did not help either.
Then I thought to myself, this is not working, I just had to gather my strength, ignored the pain, and walked home.

I started walking 5 steps but the cramp was too painful and i was seeing more stars so i sat down again. I started screaming to release some of the pain. I looked around again and I still saw no one and no cars.
and I didnt bring my cellphone and money either.
Then I heard a slam of a car's door behind me.
I looked and I saw a person.
He started moving out from the driveway, the driveway where i was laying down earlier.
I was a bit hesitant to ask for his help, I dont know why.
probably because I was afraid he might just ignore me and drive away.

But I decided to wave my hand and he saw me and he stopped!
Then he asked me what is wrong with me and I told him that i have bad cramps and asked him if he could drop me off.
And I also asked if he had any candy or sugar.
He said he only has coke and it is already opened.
He helped me to go into his car and, as soon as, i saw the coke, i drank it :)
I didnt finish it btw
I took two sips.

After we arrived at my place, he asked which floor I live and I said top floor (3rd floor).
then he piggy-backed me all the way from the car to my room.
he tucked me in to my bed and asked if i need anything else. I asked him if he could take out the pain killer in my car. So he went down to the parking lot, grabbed the pain killer, gave me water and the pills.
and he still asked if i need anything else. phone? water?
and i said phone please.

then he gave me my phone and he left.
and i fell asleep until late afternoon.
when i woke up, i wanted to take something out from my car and i couldn't find my car key!!!!
then i realized, he must have took it with him. forgot to put it back on the desk.

so i went down to check on my car with the thope he didnt lock it so i could still take out my thing. but he locked it and left his business card and a message saying to call him since he has my key.
but i didnt do it because it was late and i dont feel like bothering him again.
I was going to buy him a thank you gift and stop by his place tomorrow morning.
And, guess what, he knocked on my door the next morning, to deliver the key!
i felt so bad.
he asked how i felt etc etc then he left.

i felt i owed him so much.
so i went to the mall and bought him a gift , stopped by his place but he was sleeping, to get ready for the night shift. I met his brother and his brother said, so are you the one from yesterday?
and he told me next time bring cellphone so i can dial 911.

I still feel that I owe him so much.
I am lucky that I met a good person. What if I met a bad person that day? He could take advantage of me. I was home alone. I was in pain. He could rob me and who knows what a bad person could do.

So, lesson learned. I will always have my cellphone and money with me everytime i leave the house.
and memorize some of your dependable friends phone number.
I remember 3 phone numbers by heart but they live so far away so that would not help my situation anyway.

I feel really really lucky. Someone is watching over me. Thank you.

2008-08-05T11:40:00.000-07:00

It seems that life is an ongoing thing. It never ends.
Right now, we are living in this world and if u believe in after-life, you or your spirit will have another life there.
Sometimes, it is exhausting.

Reminder

2008-08-01T09:56:00.001-07:00

Altho my living situation is not the best for me yet, I have to remember and remind myself that I am lucky because I have a roof on top of my head and you cannot always get what you want in life.

my Plurk

2008-07-21T14:05:00.000-07:00

http://plurk.com/redeemByURL?from_uid=2083125&check=-506983851&s=1

Travelism

2008-07-09T13:23:00.000-07:00

I have only visited 27 states????? I thought I have visited more. guess not.

create your own personalized map of the USA

Disneyism

2008-07-09T08:37:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, I just came back from visiting my friend in Florida and some other fuzzy friends in Disney :)
Thanks again for taking care of me.
I was sick when I was there. I caught a cold :<.
I felt terrible because my friends caught a cold because of me. but luckily, they were able to prevent it before it was too late. phew..

That reminds me of last year. I was sick on the 4th too. let's see next year :)

Virtualism

2008-07-09T08:34:00.000-07:00

Google came up with a live chat thing which is cool and scary at the same time, I think.
http://www.lively.com/html/landing.html
Soon, you don't have to physically interact with people outside your computer room. Is that the idea?

Viva La Vida

2008-06-20T07:30:00.000-07:00

La la la la la la

I hear Jerusalem bells are ringing
Roman Cavalry choirs are singing
Be my mirror my sword and shield
My missionaries in a foreign field
For some reason I can't explain
Once you know there was never, never an honest word
That was when I ruled the world

This song has been playing in my head since last nite.
Coldplay still rocks! :)
Love the song.
Love the lyrics.
Love the video ad.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aEtFDDadus&feature=related

Widget is

2008-03-27T12:25:00.000-07:00

SO COOL!!!!!
I mean, really, is so cool!!! and fun too!!! Yeah, I am having an eureka moment here ;-)

C.o.o.k.i.E

2008-03-24T10:27:00.000-07:00

I am crazy about this cookie. It is so gooooooood and affordable and very close to my work!!!!
what a bad combination eh? So today, I decided to enhance my blog a little bit and added a twitter on the side. It is very basic and looks very out of synch with the background and the blog's theme.
but i got it attached :)
It was so easy!
I just plastered the code, save the template and bam! It works!!!
Some of you might think that it is nothing because you are very blog savvy but it is a giant step for me...
I don't know what I am going to experience next...

First

2008-03-21T10:15:00.000-07:00

Here is another "first" moment in my life. I got my first parking ticket.
Darn!
Usually, they do not check parking in my area. So, last nite, when I could not find any parking spot, I parked in this very vague area. The sign is kinda of washed and I see many many people park overnight at this spot and they did not get any ticket.
Well, I think you can take a guess what happened to me this morning, rite?
Yeah, I got my very first parking ticket. I was feeling good when I woke up. It was sunny. It was just the perfect weather and mood.
As I walked toward my car, I saw a piece of paper on my windshield and I knew it.
arghhhhhhh!!!
Luckily, I made a good coffee this morning so I felt a lot calmer. Trust me, good coffee helps a lot :)
The time stamp on the ticket is 5.30 AM.
I guess it is true when they say that early bird gets the most because I saw 2 other cars behind me and both got tickets too.
So the lesson of this story is do not take a risk with the law.

Challenge

2008-03-21T10:05:00.000-07:00

I am going to face a challenge this Sunday. We are going hiking. The hike itself is easy but it is the two people that I will be hiking with.
I have a chance to back down now or keep moving forward.
I dont know what I am going to do yet but I think I should face it. I cant keep running away from them plus there are other people that will go to this hike so I can chat with the others.
Rite?
*riteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee* :)

Fact

2008-02-07T13:09:00.002-08:00

Do you know that it is healthy to eat 13 pieces of cheetos daily? :>

2008-02-02T09:42:00.000-08:00

I hate dreaming. I normally dont dream when i sleep. when i dream, it is always a bad dream. i dont want to dream during my sleep.
I dreamt again last nite.
My family asked me to break it off but i refused to do it because i said hat i dont want to end up like mom.
It was a very mean answer that i gave to them. but it is true. i dont want to end up like her or my sis.
I really hope that i wont be dreaming anymore.

Words of the day

2008-01-24T13:57:00.000-08:00

"It is a gift to be able to forgive and forget"

Hola!!!!!

2007-12-17T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hello World!!!! I am typing my blog from the other side of the world, Singapore :)
I know it sounds very cheesey but I just want to have a blog with varies locations when I type them..
ok good nite Singapore!!!!
:)

2 more days....

2007-11-27T12:34:00.000-08:00

I will be flying home in the next two days...I am tired...I cant wait to get on that plane and sleep.
I hope my seat partner is not a huge person that will hog my seat...sorry if I sound mean but it did happen to me and thankfully I was sitting by the window, so I just squeezed myself to the corner, like, really2 close to the window.
I am tired because things have been going out of my control. There are things happen that came to me as a surprise.
I am disappointed and hurt. I guess it is my fault because I expect too much from people.
or I am too blind to see. I dunno know which one but it wont make any difference because it cant change things.
I wish that I am a kind of person that can let things go easily and move on with life. I am my mother's child but I cant be her altho I want to.
I admire my mom because of her strength, and patience. I wish that someday she can taste happiness in her life.

I was going to write a happy blog because I am going home. And you can see that I am a very disoriented person. I get distracted by feeling very easily :)

I am tired of packing...I want to take a break...
Taking a vacation is not as easy as it seems. It is actually more work for me. but it's all good.
Here I come putuuuuuu
Do you know what putu is???
Putu is a very wonderful invention by the Javanese.
It is made out of rice flour. and it is steamed with coconut milk. then it has a brown sugar filling, and sprinkle with coconut flakes..
ohhh ..yummm...
and u have to eat them while they are warm.
but, i eat them when they are cold anyway hahahha

ok..see you all in the next 27 days...

yum..yum...

2007-10-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

So here I am @ 2.40 in the afternoon and craving for a banana split ice cream but all I have is a banana and a small bag of peanut m & m. When you combine them together, they taste good plus it's (kinda) healthy. You got your potassium from the banana, healthy peanut fat, and anti-oxidant from chocolate.
Uno bite of banana and 1 piece of m & m and i am happy :)
Let me know how u like it

Decision...Decision...Decision...

2007-09-25T08:24:00.000-07:00

I have decided to go against the stream and enjoy the moment

Crossroad

2007-09-21T12:55:00.000-07:00

I am sure all of us have been in a crossroad before. I am in one now.

Human

2007-09-06T08:26:00.001-07:00

Remember when I said that you never know a person? It is confirmed. There is this one person, seems nice, talked to this person several times, and it turned out I know 2 ppl that know this person too. And I found out the other side of this person from these two ppl.
I dont know if the statements were true or not but it's never wrong to be careful.

Rush Hour

2007-09-05T12:15:00.000-07:00

Remember that part where Tucker talked loudly to Jackie " Can you understand the words that coming out of my mouth???"
That happened to me today.
Seriously, what is up with the English-is-their-first-language folks? Do you think if u speak louder, the secondary folks can understand u better????
Plus everybody knows that 5 is more than 1. We don't need a calculator for that or google it.
*sigh* peeps...

Joy to the World!

2007-08-27T19:40:00.001-07:00

My friend just had a baby daughterrrr..... I am still in the 'awww..' moment :)
He said that his daughter is so cute that she has a title; "angel"
Isn't that cute?
I was like "awww...."
I mean this is coming from a guy that used to be kinda of a bad boy and now he is a father.
Congratulations Su Family..

EZ

2007-08-27T08:16:00.000-07:00

I have to learn to be able to take things slow and just wait as it comes when feelings involve, than jumping into conclusions or assuming things.
From our last meeting, I realized that it's kinda hard for us to cross that line at least that's what I feel. Although, I saw a different side of this person last week. He said something, a very personal thing, to me. My jaw almost dropped when he told me that, but , of course, I tried to keep a straight face. Now, I feel a lot of sadness in him whenever I see him. So is it true that people who joke a lot are trying to cover whatever they are trying to cover?
I do that sometimes cuz ,sometimes, I can't deal with whatever I am trying to deal with. Just need a break from it.
Well, we are just being extra friendly to each other now. I don't want to put all my hopes in this person because of his past. I heard that he shopped around. It's understandable because we all want to be with someone that we like. So knowing his past, I have to be careful. That's all.

Congrats!!!

2007-08-16T07:11:00.000-07:00

Mon Amie H, congrats!! I am happy for you. I know that your dream is to work in a big company but considered this opportunity as your stepping stone. You learn a lot more working in a small firm. Congrats!!!!
Dang, that means I have to make another trip there for my free meal hahahahha

Cheez-It

2007-08-14T12:36:00.000-07:00

I bought a pack of cheeez-it because it is in a spongebob package :>
hahaha I know. but I am a kid too, in heart :p
So, I flipped it and I found another trivia!!!!
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
A: I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand!

:)

Oatmeal

2007-08-13T10:58:00.000-07:00

I had a packet of instant blueberry and creme oatmeal this morning. I love banana and cream flavor but I finished them all so I had no choice but to eat the other flavors :)
Some people save the best piece for last, not for me though, because by the time I finish my meal, I wont be able to have my dessert. So I always go for the dessert first!
Anyway, I love these instant oatmeal packages because they put interesting info and questions.
Like the one from this morning:
q: What kind of breakfast do egyptian have?
a: The kind that mummy makes

hahaha
I know it's lame but it's funny for a monday morning.:>

So Long Mon Ami

2007-07-29T00:25:00.000-07:00

Till we meet again...

I guess it was best not to say good bye altho your cell was still active on the day you left the country. But I chose not to talk to you because I never good at saying good bye and I know that this is not a good bye. You are just relocating :)
And it so happened that the place you are going to is far away from me.
But I am sure we'll talk again.
And, perhaps, one day, we can meet again so I can smack your head. haha...

Yeah, at times, I hate you but I care about you too. I hope you will find THE girl or be with that girl that you like and stop playing games and put down your pride for once, just for this time.

"mas..mas...for once, be brave, face your feelings, and say those three words that you like her"

Hope you landed ok and no trouble at the airport.

See ya...

Triangle, Square

2007-07-27T09:27:00.000-07:00

I feel like I am back to square one everytime I talk to my mom. I cannot bear listening to her voice. She sounds tired and sad and lonely and I cant be there for her. I found a new motto couple weeks ago. 'you should find your source of unhappiness and stay away from it'
It sounds very selfish but, of course, you cant apply this to all situation.
It kinda helps me.
I found that he is my source of unhappiness so I limit myself to see and hang out with him.
Plus it looks like he is avoiding me too. So, why try hard to be friendly with him?
So my new motto kinda works for me.
But, I like talking to my mom. I like listening to her stories but, I feel sad at the same time.
Because she has 4 kids and all of them are away.
She used to hang out with my close friend.
just to go out to see a movie on sundays.
I feel guilty and was relieved that she has a friend to see movies. She loves to see movies.
and that's her only entertainment. and now, my friend has a bf.
Mom told my sis that she is sad because now she has no one to go see a movie with.

I called my mom this morning at work. and she was about to go to sleep. and she said that she is going to sleep and just call her on sunday because she will be home. she is not going anywhere.
Do you remember those fairy tales about a princess being trapped in a castle waiting for someone or a prince to rescue her?
That's her except she already has a prince.
I know this sounds really mean but I would not call him a prince.
So,
be happy if your parents love each other. At least, you have one less thing to worry and think about even when you are away from them because you know that your parents dont feel lonely. They have each other.
They might miss you.
I hope I can go home this year.
I have to.

Think Bright

2007-07-24T09:02:00.000-07:00

Waaaaa I finally not worry about my friend. She has been in the downside of this life for a long time. She is not satisfied with her life and work altho I think she is doing well. Bow she is happy because there is a guy who is doing PDKT to her hahahha and I know this guy. He is sweet and a good guy. They met at a friend's wedding. and the story rolled by itself from there.
It is really nice knowing that she is happy now.
Everytime she is online, she always tells me happy stories. They get along. They click. ah..
I am happy for you. I really am. You deserve this after all the things that u been through.
:) :)

Huahhhhhhhhhhhhh

2007-07-22T20:44:00.000-07:00

This peanut just got back from a two-day road trip and the feeling of this peanut is HUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA as in Happpyyyyyyyyyy and satisfied hahaha
Yeah, we went to see a fountain show and fireworks in a garden.Altho it's not as good as the one in Canada but I can scratch 2 of my to-do list haha
Overall, the trip was good eventho the companions a little bit sucky but they are ok. they are not picky, very flexible and reasonable. very easy to work with. always open to anything.
i guess, sometimes, people have other things in their minds that's why they cant really communicate with each other. but thanks to music, radio station, and ipod to fill in the silence sometimes. and accompanied me.
anyway, thanks guys...

it was a great weekend gateaway...i had the chance to test my camera...and now i want a a DSLR hiks...

good nite world..i hope i will have a good week...
man..im ready for next destination..
where should i go next...hmm...

One bad food day

2007-07-18T10:20:00.000-07:00

Never ever in my life that everything went wrong for the whole day in terms of the food that we eat:)
a friend visited me and we were planning to have dinner at this place. Another friend recommended it and said that this place is FANTASTIC! I looked it up online and all the reviews were out of the roof!
so, being so close to the place, I wanted to give it a try. The place offers pan asian food. I like this kind of food. They are like the new hybrid of asian food :)
So we went there. sat down. liked the atmosphere. nice and quiet. the wall was painted in red and black. they have some pictures of japan and samurai and other japanese culture things.
we opened the menu, they have japanese, chinese and thai food.
we were intrigued.
this place is known for its sushi. so of course, we ordered sushi.
and a thai noodle dish.

service was great. staff was very friendly. out water never half empty.
the food came.
sushi was ok.
the noodle was plain. but the chicken satay was decent.
the tuna was bad. my...o..my...

so, that was our first stop.

we thought we needed something to fix this. something good and sweet. Ice cream!!!
We drove around and found one ice cream place.
We got there at 10.03 and the place closed at 10.
boy...what a disappointment especially after i made that crazy u-turn.
sigh....
but, we havent given up yet because i remember there is a diner near by. and they have good milkshake!
as decent as Denny's milkshake.
went in there and ordered 2 shakes.
got mine and mine is very thin almost like liquid and i could smell the milk. yuck.sorry i am not a milk person, i drink milk because i have to.
same thing as my friend's shake.
so, we drank like 1/4 of it.
and left.

boy never ever in my life had a bad shake. how can u go wrong with shake???!!!
oy!

so, after the shake's trip, we decided to go home and hope that we wont experienced this ever again hahaha
what a night...
bad food after another...

The Mind II

2007-07-12T12:39:00.001-07:00

Now that I think about it. It is doable. Your mind should be able to control your feelings, it's only a matter of willingness and how strong your will is.

The Mind

2007-07-12T12:34:00.000-07:00

Wouldn't it be nice if your mind can control your heart, not the other way around. Or is it just a woman thing? nah..it's not a woman thing.

Black Monday

2007-07-02T10:19:00.000-07:00

Today is officially a Black Monday for me. Should have known from the time I could not sleep this morning. Everything just went down the hill from there. Tummy aches, and I lost my keys.
I dont know what else can go wrong. I have approx. 6-7 hrs to find out. I soooo want today to be over.
Gotta find a big wood to knock on many many times

Monday Morning

2007-07-02T01:32:00.000-07:00

Good Morning World! It is 4.00 AM EST in US and I am wide awake since 2.30 AM.
Never claimed myself as a morning person but I didn't have a choice today. I opened my eyes and it was still dark outside. Trying to reach out for my cell aka my alarm aka my clock and it was 2.30 AM!!!!!
Oh goodness...
One thing crossed my mind, I wish I had a key to the office :)
Not so I can sleep there altho that is not a bad idea....
My office building has a very nice view. We are facing a small lake. It is a man made lake but it is very nice.
In the summer time, the duckies are swimming around the lake.
In the winter time, they hide and all I see is white dust with footprints of the chipmunks :)

Good Morning World and I will try to go to bed again.

Present

2007-06-28T10:33:00.000-07:00

When we were kids, we wanted to be a grown-up. And once you are a grown-up, you want to be a kid again.
So, I guess the best thing to do is enjoy your "present" time since they have not found a time machine yet :)

The Immigration Bill

2007-06-28T09:36:00.000-07:00

Yes! They postponed it till 08 election. I feel that it's not fair to the legal ones. I mean if you are going to legalize the illegal ones, might as well legalize all the people and tourists that come to US. What's the difference?

A place in your heart

2007-06-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

A friend said you have different expectations for people whom you put in your heart.
It is a condensed and short statement.
I think we all know this and some other things in the world but we never realized it until someone said it outloud or point it out to us.

Post Memorial Weekend

2007-05-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard to move on? Even after knowing the facts.

(almost) End of May 07

2007-05-25T13:23:00.000-07:00

The looong weekend is here. I finally got my answer. I asked about the movie and he brushed it off.
Time to move on:) the one thing that I should have done months ago .ha! :)

May 07

2007-05-11T09:20:00.000-07:00

I hear noises around the office but I dont feel like joining them. It's friday. I should be celebrating too because I finished my project and resolved a problem.
This is the 2nd time I went to see a doctor. First appointment was the introduction to the annual physical exam.
And I just got back to my 2nd appt. I got my lab result back.
It was not pleasant. My inner body is a little messed up, that's all, but it's good to know that I am not dying :)
I try to keep myself thinking that because there are lots of ppl with worse conditions than mine.
What I need right now is someone that can hold my hand and give me a hug.
Gosh, this is the most depressing entry I ever written.
I know that it will be fine. but right now, what I really need is some distractions. See a movie or something.
I am not in the mood to babysit someone right now because I dont want to spread my depression :)

April 07

2007-04-05T14:50:00.000-07:00

Has it been that long since I blogged? Wow...
time does fly...
I have disappeared for so long because i want to be able to express myself verbally than on the net. My friend had this personality test and the 5 of us took the test but I wasnt there when they took the test. Their results were pretty accurate. So, they took a guess of my personality. and it turned out that it is completely the opposite of their guess :)
Their guess was I am a social butterfly who is always active and enjoys going out a lot. And it turned out that I am the opposite. According to the test, I am a passive and factual person, who likes to stay at home, enjoy a good book,and the company of a small group of people.
They were shocked.
Literally, shocked.
hahahhaha

It's good that they know who I really am. But, there is a little part of me that does not like being read like an open book. Well, at least, the readers are my closed friends. I just hope that they are not going to announce it to the world. which I doubt.
Once, I finished with my test. One person got so excited and she started telling another friend.
And, apparently, my result was the same as two other persons. a guy and a girl. and, the worse part is they started mentioning how i should pursue this guy.
And I am sure you know which guy I am referring here. Yes, you. I know you :P the only person that knows my blog. Yes, it's him. The X.

yes, those two girls said that x is a nice guy. then i asked them why the questions about me and him.
finally, opne of them spoke up. and she said that she thought she saw something between me and him.
I was washing the dishes at that time and the only think that crossed my mind was OMG, it's that obvious??!!!
but, i tried to calm myself down. because i know it's not obvious.
so, i just kept asking her, like when, or how she thought that there is something going on between me and him.
and she couldnt really explain it. she didnt remember which event. and at the end of the night, i was off the hook.
they believed that what their saw all these times were just their over-analyzing things.
i guess i do have a poker face hahaha
although, my heart was pounding like crazy. my mind was scared and anxious. and thankfully, i was doing the dishes, or else, i dont know how i could hide my sweaty palms hahaha

to make long story short,
2 weeks after that, i told them that i gave up on him. i said that yes i liked him but i am going to let him go.
again, they were shocked.
they didnt say anything.
i know that one of them wanted to ask me questions but i think she was scared. she didnt want to intrude.
in a way, i feel better now that i can actually voice it out that i am to let go this feeling....
but i dont think im ready to face him yet.

it will take some time.
and now, it's time to cut my hair
hahaha
late for me appointment...

Tues, the 13th

2007-02-13T10:39:00.000-08:00

I feel like my head is about to explode. I need to clone myself. One is to take care of the trip planning. Second one is to shop and compare prices for gifts. Third one is to work, make the $$$ or probably, i need two or three of me to make $$$$ hahahaha

shattered

2007-02-02T10:12:00.000-08:00

it breaks my heart everytime i finished talking with my mom over the phone. she always tries to be cheerful tho deep inside she is sad. and i can feel her sadness. to make it worse, i cant do a thing except listening to her. i try calling her more often now so she wont feel alone. i am glad i finally found a calling card that has a clear sound quality. yes, it is a bit expensive but i dont care.
my sister is planning to come down here and i know that mom wants to go too but she cant. she asked how i am doing, how my job is, health etc. she said that i have to take care of myself, eat right etc.
i cant do this. it's too painful.

New Year 01/11/07

2007-01-11T13:06:00.000-08:00

i got my confirmation, i think. dia ga mau hubungan lagi sama aku. even chatting aja ga dijawab.
well..i dont know what i did but i just found it weird. setelah aku kasi hadiah itu, kita masih ngomngan, terus setelah new year, jadi aneh.
hmm..oh well..today is my new year since i got my confirmation.
i wonder, curious, kalo ntar ketemu kayak gimana ya :)

Women

2007-01-10T08:38:00.000-08:00

I told my cuz, friends, and I actually believe that never ever try to figure out what women think and how to understand them. I thought that i am different, today, i find out that i am not. I thought that the way i think it's not like women since i like things to be simple and straight-forward. Well, I am wrong but I do like things to be simple and straight- fwd tho.
I never hated anyone in my life.Never. I dislike a person in terms of compatibility. So when I dislike a person, I try to put a distance with that person. So, i hate him. yes, i hate him. i have been carrying this hatred since 2 days ago. not sure why. i guess because i put myself out there and, in a way, i feel humiliated. but i hate him.
so i went to a self-defense class and when i was training, i pictured him. Anger and hatred give you so much energy and power to destroy things. It's scarry.
I felt so relieve tho. I have to be able to let things go because, eventually, we will meet and I have to be able to control my emotions.
I met this guy and i like hanging out with him but i still carry this hatred inside my heart.
What's wrong with me huh?!
That's why folks, women is one messed-up creature. dont even try to figure them out, just a waste of time. Even I ,as a girl, dont understand them and myself. hahaha

Water

2007-01-02T14:36:00.000-08:00

Should you care about what others' think of what you are doing? Yes and no.
if you believe in what you are doing is right, go for it, why care about ppl's opinion?! but it's always easier said than done.
it is almost 1 year and i think my bro is still mad at me because i decide to stay.
i really hate him when he mentioned the fact that mom is hanging out with my friend instead of with her daughter.
if u think about it, my sis went back home and she does not live in our hometown. and this scenario will apply to me too if i decide to go home. so where is the sense in that??!!!
I never mentioned the fact that his wife never accompanied mom because it's not my bus. so i hope she will never asked me again about when i will go home because it's not her bus.!

The day after Xmas...

2006-12-26T09:53:00.000-08:00

after several days thinking about returning the thing, i finally gave it to him. Even though, it's not as planned, but finally I managed to give it to him after several failed attempts to meet. Kayaknya things will change, I hope for the better. Again, I have no expectation because I think I already know the answer before this event happened. It is scarry to let someone know that you care about him or her. It is as scarry as being loved because when you let yourself be loved, you let your guard down.

Canon..

2006-12-21T19:19:00.000-08:00

Try the Christmas Canon..
http://www.trans-siberian.com/multimedia/video.shtml
and this one too..
http://ia300104.us.archive.org/0/items/Canon/BoysSopranoChoirPachelbel.mp3

u think u know me HUH!

2006-12-06T13:22:00.000-08:00

duh aku paling buenciiiiiiiiiiiiiii sama orang yang sok tauuuuuuuu...you dont know me that well, okay!so just shut it man!

zzz..

2006-12-06T10:38:00.000-08:00

yeah.. males kerja euy hari ini!!!!
I was browsing around pbase.com and found some Indonesians. They post pictures of Indonesia and it reminds how beautiful Indonesia is.
A lot of the parks are still untouched. The color of the water and the sky are so blue, like pure blue. It's as beautiful as the Carribean, Fiji, etc.
Everytime I go home, I always wanted to visit those places, but up until now I never done it, instead, I stayed home with my familia. hahaha
duh, pengen bobok. ngantuk!!!
kopi does not help.
prob. a bit of slapping will wake me up
hehehe

mon ami

2006-12-05T12:16:00.000-08:00

Am I about to lose one of my dearest and closest person? I don't call this person a friend anymore because this person is more than a friend. I have to be ready for the consequences, ie. losing, can't chat as often after what I sent to this person.
anyway. only time can tell...
and now it's just a waiting game...

au debut

2006-11-13T11:38:00.000-08:00

finally i have the guts to ask him. i asked him to meet up for a coffee. i know that i should have said after work. not during lunch. but i am too scared because with lunch, we have a short time, but after work?hmm not sure if i can handle it.
so, he said, now? uh i just got one :<

yubba dobba dooo

2006-11-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

Good news!!!!somebody will treat me a dinner my choice the next time i go to seattle or see her!!!!
darn!!!i should have asked her when she visited me because i knew this day will come.
now i have to wait.
ah. it's ok. worth the wait
hahahha

D, I am happy for you ...

Life...

2006-11-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

If you are faced with this question, how would you fill in the blank without any deep thinking

Life ........

This is what my friend said:

Life is a priveledge.
You have to live to the fullest because not many people have such luxury so it will be an insult to them if you dont live yours to the fullest.
The fullest meaning enjoying it to the max and be the best that you can be.

That's why I admire this person. Very knowledgeable and humble at the same time. Always know what and when to say it. Does not say things that you want to hear, instead the brutal truth, the reality. Believe it or not, this person keeps my life going and help me to keep my head up.

I have to say thank you to the bastard that introduced us hahahahha
I guess life is funny. You dont know how it will turn out.

capek

2006-11-09T06:28:00.000-08:00

why ppl keep asking me questions that i cant answer?????????
trust me, i will tell u when i hear the news. what do u want me to do? what answer u want to hear? i cant wait for that day to come either. but rite now, i dont have the answer so just leave me alone.
stop asking the same question again again and again.
when are u going home
are u staying there
you are not going home no more
how is your visa
is it approved yet
any news yet

thank you for the concern, i really appreciate it. but, there is one person i cant understand. u know that i am waiting for my visa and yet u ask me when are u going home? lu jadi pulang ga sih? WTH?????!!!
why would i process my visa if i want to go home?? if u want to start a conversation but dont know what to ask, u have 2 choices, ask an intelligent questions or just shut up.
okay!
ask me these questions again when u can suggest me something. before that, leave me alone.
i have enough headache.
i dont need any useless comments.

i need to get away...i have so much anger in me..

hehe :)

2006-10-24T21:25:00.000-07:00

that's what my feeling is feeling rite now. i know i know, and u know, i should not.
but after tonite, i realized that there is nothing there... it is confirmed.
but i know that i will say something else hahaha
as long as i hang out with him, things will be like this.
i dont want to stay over niteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee in niu yorkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
because that will be 48 hrs with himmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
gawd!!!!!
but too late to pull back now..gotta face it and just get it over with..

horoscope of the day

2006-10-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

"You're usually a happy-go-lucky type, and one way to make sure that you stay that way is to do some regularly scheduled maintenance on your soul. Look within yourself. Are there any questions that need answers?"

The last sentence is really interesting. I know the answers but dont know where to start.
One way to start is by starting writing any doubts i have.

ssshh...

2006-10-19T12:37:00.000-07:00

U notice that i write my blog more regularly now? that means that either i am bore to death or ....
hahaha i let u decide...
i was studying and my mind was not in the book
i realized that people have secrets.
yes, i/we hang out with them every weekend or after work. chat with them but i feel like i dont know them. and i can bet that they dont know anything about me neither, given that i have problem trusting people hahaha
we usually hang out with 10-15 people in a group. but, i only know 2-3 persons. i mean like i know them. and i call them friends. others are more like acquentances.
Everytime i meet them, we always laugh, joke around. i feel like that it's not real.
2 things,
people tend to cover things up.
and people have secrets.

Crystal Ball

2006-10-18T11:02:00.000-07:00

I believe that not knowing the future makes life interesting.
But I really really want to know this time. Because I dont feel like playing a game. But I know that I am powerless because even a lawyer wont be able to give me the answer.

Greatest Feeling

2006-10-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

Making your parents proud... instead of headache like me hwuaheuhaha

What's your wish

2006-10-12T22:51:00.000-07:00

http://timecapsule.yahoo.com/capsule.php

12.03

2006-10-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

i wish that i did not know that he is going away ...
i hide myself for 2 days. no contact whatsoever with him.because work has been crazy, plus i want to see his reaction.
on the 3rd day, i said hi *yes, i was the first one that broke the ice* we talked, and he said, so how are you? we havent chatted for couple days.
then i realized that he was right, it has been couple days. i did not realize it. honestly, i did not realize it at that time.
i know it's nothing but it's nice when people ask how you are doing and they mean it when they ask you.
i try not to have any expectations but everytime i thought i have done it, something always happened and i have to start all over again...
prob. i should not start all over because there is nothing to start with...
just keep going....
and try not to look back

we'll see how i will do next week...:)

Settling Down

2006-10-11T10:40:00.000-07:00

ever wonder where you belong?

what a turn

2006-10-09T14:39:00.000-07:00

#1.girl likes a guy.
guy showed up with a girl.
girl confused and wait.

#2.guy showed up alone.
girl happy.
guy talked to guy intimately.
guy went home with guy.
girl dont know.
two friends noticed.
assumption: guy is _ _ _
confusion continues...

#3. guy showed up with a girl.
introduced as :this is my girlfriend.
confusion no more.
assumption crushed.
girl dont know yet.

yay!

2006-10-03T13:31:00.000-07:00

yay!yay!yayyyyy!!!i am done with my work!!good gawd!!! temen aku kelaur dari kerjaan kemaren ini.. so aku ambil alih kerjaan dia.. u know.. aku suka sama kerjaan dia..thats the one i want.. i have been eye-ing for that position since day one.
hahahaha
soalnya aku suka budgeting...projections things like that...
cuma mumetnya ga ketulungan sehhhh
mumet kalo angka gak matching..holy cow beneran deh...
soalnya we use VPN... so other folks ada access dan mrk bisa edit the file tapi there's no trace who did what..itu yg bikin mumet..
but it's all goood nowww
huwahahahhaha
done with one..thousands more to go!!!:>
iya nih..the last project, aku ga gitu confident kalo angkanya matching.. harus dicek neh..darn..

lala lalala..:>

ha!

2006-10-03T12:37:00.000-07:00

this is sad man... now all my blog is about guys..well mainly a guy...one guy... i promised myself that i wont get soak into it..i want to improve my writing by blogging... eitsss i guess my feeling is telling me diff.things :>
u know..it's funny.. i know today he is not gonna say hi to me because he called last nite and according to him, he is returning my call. well..i checked my phone and i dont see his number being dialed out of my phone.. talked for several minutes but he kept saying,,ya im just returning your call..i thought u called me..
hmm why can't 2 ppl chat? when he called, i didnt make a big deal out of it..like..screaming OMG!!he called me!!!
but, anyway,,,i know he is not gonna say hi to me which doesnt surprise me because he wants to put a distance..he doesnt want to give me a wrong impression or signal..
got it dude! but u dont need to keep mentioning it which makes it weird...

Get over it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-09-29T05:52:00.000-07:00

Just found out that he is going away for vacation for one week and I feel sad because I know I will miss him. And we are just friends that talk everyday thru IM but when we see each other, we barely speak.
Why do I have to find out today?When today is the busiest day and I need to concentrate 100% since no mistake can be made and error cannot be corrected.
I need to stop hanging out with him.